I have to question the sanity of someone who says that we all know women run the household, but women should continue to let men think they run it. He knows this, and he still says that? If he's aware of it women are not doing such a hot job of letting men think they run things, are they? I'm sure that if woman laid out the rules- requirements- early on, and let her intended know that he could either rise up to those requirements, or just move on. A directive like that signals to a man that you are not a plaything-someone to be used and discarded. It tells him that what you have- your benefits- are special, and that you need time to get to know him and his ways to decide if he DESERVES them. I guess someone who's having a lot of trouble getting married might find this book helpful. I have never found men to be all that simplistic. I also don't need some guy telling me how to be a girl ("don't paint"). Okay, the guys can do the heavy lifting, they're much better equipped for it, but I'm from a generation of women who decided nobody was going to tell us what to do, or what not to do, including painting, mowing the lawn, and finding what's making that funny noise in the car. And we seem to have gotten married at the same rate as women from the fifties, which is the decade this book sounds like it came from. I do think it's great that he advises to lay your expectations of a relationship out on the table and not to have sex for 90 days. Couples who want sex before they really know each other need to take the time to get to know each other first, but isn't this a pretty obvious point? I felt exhausted when I finished the book, like I had just worked a day on the assembly line, but instead of inspecting auto parts, I was inspecting the infinite regressive thoughts cranking out of Steve Harvey’s brain. Relationships are always going to be work, but Harvey paints a world where all that work has to fall onto women. Though it was only released 12 years ago, Act Like A Lady has already aged badly. It never really held up in the first place. You don’t need to be a self-professed expert to know that relationships are about listening to one another instead of playing weird mind games. There is no magical number of days to withhold sex or certain way of dressing to make a man fall in love with you. The systemic causes of inequality that can make a man unemployed or underpaid do not suddenly deem him unable to give or receive love (and we know this mindset increasingly leads to violence, lest I have to recap the plot of Joker [2019] to you). Also, shouldn’t relationships be fun? Isn’t a key piece to a long, happy relationship that you laugh together and do things you both enjoy? All of these rules are so transactional and boring!!!

And, as a rule of thumb women, try to read more dating books for women written by men. Women advise other women to be strong and independent, but that’s a covert manipulation and it’s not effective. Do not ignore your gift. Your gift is the thing you do the absolute BEST with the LEAST amount of effort.” –S.H. I was very irritated by the author's style and language. He's definitely not a professional writer. If this was an e-book, the style would have gone unnoticed. But for a book, it's too casual and extremely redundant. I skimmed through the Q&A section, which had the dumbest questions and answers I have ever seen. This book seems to be for women who are just not very intelligent, if he proclaims that those are the sorts of questions that "every woman" is dying to know the answers to. Sex is always referred to as "the goodies", "a reward", or my favorite "the cookie". And it is basically the biggest reason any man would want to be with you or stay with you. You better not have an off couple of weeks unless you just gave birth (that's the example he gave for an acceptable reason not to give up the cookie).She knew she wanted a monogamous relationship-a partnership with a man who wanted to be a dedicated husband and father. She also knew this man had to be faithful, love God, and be willing to do what it took to keep this family together. On a smaller scale she also made it clear that she expected to be treated like a lady at every turn-I'm talking opening car doors for her, pulling out her seat when she's ready to sit at the table, coming correct on anniversary, Mother's Day, and birthday gifts, keeping the foul talk to a minimum. These requirements are important to her because they lay out a virtual map of what I need to do to make sure she gets what she needs and wants. After all, it's universal knowledge that when mama is happy, everybody is happy. And it is my sole mission in life to make sure Marjorie is happy.” With translations in more than thirty languages, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man is the definitive relationship guide for women.

The problem for all too many women who call in to my radio show, though, is that they just can't get that reciprocation from men, and women then end up feeling disappointed, disenfranchised, and disillusioned by their failed relationships. a b Gleiberman, Owen (April 25, 2012). "Think Like a Man". Entertainment Weekly . Retrieved April 27, 2012. What is wrong with you for thinking your boyfriend or husband wants to talk to you? "That's what your girlfriends are for." Because "women love to sit and talk for no apparent reason but to talk". Just stop being afraid, already. The most successful people in this world recognize that taking chances to get what they want is much more productive than sitting around being too scared to take a shot. The same philosophy can be applied to dating: if putting your requirements on the table means you risk him walking away, it’s a risk you have to take. Because that fear can trip you up every time; all too many of you let the guy get away with disrespecting you, putting in minimal effort and holding on to the commitment to you because you’re afraid he’s going to walk away and you’ll be alone again. And we men? We recognize this and play on it, big time.” –S.H. After telling women they need to act like a lady, he says this: "This "If he wants to marry me, he'll ask me" thing has got to stop. Because we're not going to ask you when you're ready—we're going to play with you until you give us your requirements and standards and stand by them. I'm not telling you to get on bended knee. I'm telling you to set a timeline for the ring and the date, and tell the man you want to married to what it is." Talk about pushy! Every woman knows that if you've talked to your man about marriage and he hasn't made a move, chances are, he's not ready! Whatever happened to the beginning of the book where he said men cheat because they haven't found out who they are yet? Well, chances are, he's not giving you a ring because he hasn't found out who he is.Ladies: set some standards; make a man respect you, make him put in effort, and make him work for it. Once that is established, you’ll notice a change in the men who pursue you and the way you approach love and life as a whole. It is considered noble and wonderful if we women sit out something we enjoy doing if our man can't do that thing because then he couldn't protect us if something happened. Things I learned while reading this (and believe me when I say that most of these are direct quotes): I cannot tell you the fulfillment we have in knowing that we’ve secured your time (…) it’s all the affirmation we need The first part of this book reads like a relationship manual from 1950. I understand where he's coming from, but I couldn't relate. My mind doesn't work that way. A friend of mine agreed that it did sound a little bit dateed, but she also said "it gets better."

Now, the part that made me want to throw the book against the wall (but I didn't, because I was reading on the iPad) was about cheating. Cheating means nothing for a man. No, no. Rest assured ladies. It only means that you are not giving him the "cookie", so he went looking for it elsewhere. But it means absolutely nothing, because you know what? You are still the lady of his heart of hearts. Sex, well, Steve says men can only go a month without it. And if you start rationing out sex, he’ll be looking for it elsewhere. That’s one of the reasons, Steve says, that poor men run away from their father’s duties: to escape their feelings of inadequacy ( indeed Tony Robbins says his father ran away when strangers donated his family food for Thanksgiving). To prove that sleeping with him before 90 days is a bad idea, Harvey asks where are all the men you’ve slept with before 90 days.These questions by themselves will also cause him to start seeing you in a different, and better light. 11. The Ninety Days Rule By being a high quality woman, by setting the bar high and by demanding and requiring proper behavior, you communicate that you’re a keeper.